Reflection on Motherhood; A daughter turned mother.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Mother's day is quickly approaching and every year I find myself brainstorming for the "perfect" gift to give the most kind and selfless person I know, my mum. Because my mother is very giving, never selfish, and always thinking of others, she will most likely say that she needs nothing. This makes for a very difficult person to shop for.

Now as a kid, I remember sitting in the cafeteria ready to eat my lunch (which was always something I didn't want to eat, but had to... OR ELSE). I'd look around and see that my classmates had little notes from their mommies in their lunch box. Little hearts drawn on their brown paper lunch bag and smiley faces imprinted on their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I thought, "My mom NEVER does that!" Of course I'm older now and wise enough to know that I cannot measure my mother's love based on how cute my lunch was. I've come to appreciate the "real" things that matter. Like how my mom ALWAYS prepares my favorite filipino dishes for me, Ferd, and Ava. She even pre-packages meals for us to store in our freezer. She's done this forever for me. I recall my mom doing this while I was living in Hampton, finishing graduate school... because my mom's main goal was to keep me studying. Unfortuantely, she's created a 32-year-old that cannot re-create any of my favorite filipino foods. But, that's okay... I married a chef =). I'm going off tanget... but my point is: My mother would do any and everything for me if it meant that I would be bettering myself. I love her for that. I've said this over and over before, but I know I will be a wonderful mother because I've learned by example.

Becoming a mother has been an amazing experience. The transformation I went through was nothing like I expected. Here I am turning every moment into a "teachable moment". We are naming shapes and colors, singing songs, teaching manners and right from wrong, and all along I'm finding out that I am not the teacher. Ava has really taught ME more about life, love, and myself than anyone I know. Who would've thought that such a teeny, tiny, creature could (and would) have so much power?! That, in fact, is probably the biggest lesson I have learned: Never underestimate the power of your child (or the pacifier... JUST KIDDING!). Ferd reminds me of this daily. I could write a book on all the life lessons I've learned from Ava, and she's only 2! :)

The very instant Ava was born, I became STRONG. Little ole me, strong? Yes, in every sense of the word. I want to love her intensely, protect her fierecly, and bravely raise her to one day leave her father and mother to live an absolutely extraordinary life.

So, I thank my mother for all that I know and all she's taught me to learn on my own. I thank my mother-in-law, for reminding me about the "little things in life" that bring us immense joy. And I thank my daughter, Ava Love, for opening me up to a "new" world and revealing the true person that I am today. To all my girls, today and everyday... Happy Mother's Day.

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